Our Curves .... and The Men Who Love Them

 "Cultivate your curves, they may be dangerous but they won’t be avoided”—Mae West

Racquel Welch, Marilyn Monroe, Twiggy, Kim Kardashian. Over the recent decades, these women and many more, have been represented in the media for the curves (or lack-of, in Twiggy’s case) dictated as sexy in the fashion of the day.

Marilyn Monroe

Ladies are we always concerned about our curves? Do we obsess over whether or not we have “too much”, or in some cases “not enough”? Who really dictates the standards by which you measure yourself? Since the beginning of time, or at least since I can remember; through art, fashion, and media women have been left to feel like they are “less than” if they don’t have the right facial features, hair, or body type.

When I grew up in the sixties the ideal image moved from the curves of Marilyn Monroe and Racquel Welch to the waifish stick-figure model “Twiggy”. Suddenly girls who were maturing and developing a shape were made to feel out-of-style if they had curvy hips or any shape other than straight-up-and-down. And with this expectation girls posed on themselves came many extreme diets and eating disorders.

As time goes by and fashion changes, the extremes have made their mark on the media, from the gaunt runway models (enter Kate Moss) to the celebrities who pay fortunes for body parts to be carved, sculpted and “enhanced” sometimes beyond human proportions. We often buy into the idea that we could be undesirable if our hips are too large or our bra size too small.

The short video below from The Talko is a perfect demonstration of the changing of the ideal women's body type throughout history. I think you'll find it very interesting:

                                                   

Who are we trying to please? How does this make us feel? Can we ever be happy if we are always striving to be something we are not? What happens to our self-esteem if we constantly compare ourselves to air-brushed images? Aren’t we setting ourselves up for unrealistic expectations?

What about the men in our lives? Do we expect them to look like every male model or celebrity hunk we see? Is that what is most important to us? Do we expect them to love us as we are, or do we think they shouldn’t love us until we look like someone else? Isn’t what is on the inside what really distinguishes us from all the others when they get to know us?

The men who really love us, really love us for who we are. They know our body changes when we go through different stages in life, have children, and when we age. Does their body stay the same? No --even though they don’t give birth their body goes through changes too. The body that they have grown to love belongs to the woman they love. The familiarity is like home to them. <This is a good time to have conversation about this. Go ahead, ask your guy how he really feels > They would rather be with a woman who is slightly overweight and treats them like a king and embraces life, than a woman with an “ideal” body (by media standards) who only cares about herself and her image. Trust me, I have to remind myself of this now and then. Marrying in my sixties is very different from my first marriage. When I was first married, over thirty years ago, my husband knew me first as a fit aerobic instructor in my late 20s, teaching 15+ classes a week. Fast forward over thirty years and 25 pounds. I have been known to say, "Too bad you didn't know me when I was younger".

Now this is not to say that we should, once we are comfortable and secure in a long-term relationship, simply "let ourselves go". We still need to take pride in our appearance. If we don't care about ourselves we can't expect anyone else to either. And we all know that when we look better we feel better. This may sound a bit old-fashioned here, but I believe this is still true: Making a little extra effort as far as caring how we are dressed, keeping neat and clean, even a touch of makeup to show we care, can go a long way. 

Believe it or not, our men love us for our heart and our soul. If they love us ONLY for our body then it is not love, but it is that old-fashioned word; “infatuation”. It is nice to know they are proud of us for many reasons, not just the way we look, but we are valued for the wonderful mothers we are, for how we make others feel welcome or important (including them), for the kind heart we share.

Now if we are unhappy with ourselves for any reason we can make anyone else around us, especially the man we love, miserable. If we are constantly concerned with the number on the scale we can sabotage our relationships. If we are extremely overweight and unhealthy we need to address that. Instead of putting ourselves down or whining about it we may need to ask for help. Our men (those who really love us, remember) want us to be happy. When it comes to our weight they want us to be HAPPY with ourselves and HEALTHY enough to enjoy activities we like to do. They want us to be there to share their life. That is much more important to them than the 10-20+ pounds we keep battling or belittling ourselves over. <Am I right guys?> …And that should be what is important to us! 

A Mae West moment: That's me as Mae West ( I had to borrow some booty), My mother as Betty White. I have always loved Mae West's spirit (talk about ATTITIUDE).
 She was way ahead of her time.

ATTITUDE MATTERS... Be Happy and Healthy by Choice!

#bodyimage#healthyandhappy#loveyourcurves