The Elephant---"It Could Always Be Worse"

This is a very personal post, the toughest I have written. My intention is not to whine, but to offer hope and encouragement.

“It could always be worse”. I must have gotten that saying from my mother because I have been saying it as long as I can remember. I have been saying it to myself more and more in the recent years facing challenges with injuries, disease, and most significantly my husband’s heart. After reading this post may you be encouraged to find that I can still say that.

I repeated it to myself each time I assumed the role of “Nurse Nanci”, caring for Bob as he recovered from yet another emergency or life-saving procedure. Each time he would make it through a surgery he would call it another “bump in the road”. If you have been following my blog you have seen recent posts about the “bump in the road”.

After 28 years of marriage we faced our biggest ever “bump in the road”. You might say it was the size of an elephant.

It happened on the day of my son’s 21^st birthday. I was on my morning walk with our dog. As we walked by a nearby golf course I glanced at the golfers. I thought to myself how wonderful it was that Bob loved golf. It was the only activity he was physically able to continue and it kept him connected to a close circle of long-time Fire Dept. buddies. Little did I know that it would be just a couple hours before he would be taking his last swing. He suffered a stroke that morning on the golf course. The stroke was followed by a hemorrhage in his brain that claimed his life. He went without pain. (Yes, it could have been worse)

I have never known anyone to love his job as much as he did, to give as much to his community as he did, and to pack as much fun into their life as he did. “Work hard—play hard” was definitely his way. (Yes, it could have been worse)

They say God does not give you any more than you can handle. So I think He has a lot of faith in me. I do feel like He has given me a lot to handle lately. 

After living round-the clock at the hospital for days, I returned home from the hospital the morning he passed. There was a strange odor by the back door. I couldn’t bring myself to say it smelled like something died. I had many friends and family with me, and the next day of course, the plumbing backed up. (Can it get worse?) After three days the smell by the back door had progressively gotten worse and a dead possum was discovered under the house. (Can it get worse?) Then one-by-one on each of the next three days the battery was dead in my daughter’s car, my car, and my husband’s car--which I needed to figure out what to do with. (Can it get worse?)

I had not been out of the house and my dog had not been walked in days. My friends encouraged me to get out and walk the dog before it got dark. We walked a short distance and I ran into a dear friend. We hugged and cried, hugged and cried, as it started to get dark. Meanwhile my dog did her business next to the sidewalk. As my friend was leaving I told her “It can always be worse”. By now it was dark. I turned around to pick up after my dog. As I tied a knot in the bag and told myself “It can always be worse”, I said “let’s go” and there was a soft squish under my first step. All I could do was laugh.

It could have been worse!---

IT COULD HAVE BEEN AN ELEPHANT!

Where do we go from here? I know some moments will continue to be tough. I know some days will be better than others. I know I am tremendously blessed with wonderful children and loving and caring family and friends. 

In his honor
I am more committed than ever to take care of my own health and fitness and encourage others to do the same, 
not just to live longer but to enjoy life longer.

I know I am lifted by love, filled with gratitude, AND 

“It can always be worse”.