A Gratitude Journey

Practicing Gratitude is easy and makes such a difference.

This photo was taken on a hike in Yosemite, Sept. 2018.
This was one beautiful spot (not to be taken for granted)
 that survived the massive fires in the valley that Summer.

(Warning)--This is a very personal account. It demonstrates the difference gratitude has made in my life and my hope in sharing is that it encourages you to find gratitude in your daily life.

There was a time that I was a teenager and pretty proud of it at 14. I was very typical; interested in boys, social activities, starting to experiment with my own style-- makeup and trends, concerned with appearances and wanting to be accepted. The teen years tend to be a self-centered time.

One night my father was telling me how all his hard work was to provide for the family, including me. I needed to appreciate what I had. I don't remember the exact words from so long ago, but I remember the feeling that he was telling me I was not grateful.

He died early the next morning. That was the last conversation we had. Although I don't remember the words, of course as I grew up, that night has never left my mind. It has now been well past 50 years. I won't forget.

Years later I was married and home and with two very young children. My husband, as a firefighter, was gone for work 24 hours at a time. Other times he was gone for pleasure when he felt like it. Without going into detail, there was a conversation when I was called "ungrateful". Oh I didn't know how much those words could sting! It took me back decades in my mind and I realized that is the worst thing I can be called. I did a lot of deep thinking, soul searching, and made some decisions. I reminded myself not to take things for granted. 

Again, years later there was a time; I was driving to the hospital in another city. This was so long ago as I write this, and so much has happened since, that my memory is fuzzy...

My husband was undergoing a heart procedure that was supposed to be urgent but it had been close to a month before it was scheduled. I still don't remember why he had been scheduled in Torrance instead of where we lived, his Cardiologist was, and where he had been designated a patient of a cardiac research program at Long Beach Memorial Hospital in Long Beach (where he had been treated many times). 

I remember driving to Torrance alone and nervous (besides worrying about him, I've always been directionally challenged). I became very frustrated as my car started making funny noises I was unsure about. For a moment I was angry at the world for what I felt was happening to me. I do remember taking a breath and telling myself to be grateful. I needed to be grateful that he was still alive and that I had a car to drive myself there.

Within a year after that procedure, and after other procedures that followed, my husband left me a widow.

As I was struggling to put the pieces of my life back together I realized I still had so much to be grateful for.

This is a time that GRATITUDE became most important to me. I know that being grateful for what I had was the biggest difference in my daily survival. I thought about how much worse things could have been. I was grateful that he was doing something he loved when he suffered his stroke (he was on the golf course). I was grateful that he did not linger in pain or suffer with incapacity. I was grateful that he was with friends who were also firefighter/paramedics who saw signs of a stroke and knew what to do. I was grateful that he was not driving our motorhome and caused injuries to others. I was grateful that he was not in Mexico (where he also loved to spend time) where he might not have been able to get medical attention or even get home.

                              

As difficult as it was to continue with my life as a widow I knew I had to be grateful that I had friends who knew him and loved him, and supported me. I had to be grateful that I still had my HEALTH.

I am constantly reminded of what a difference gratitude can make. I make it a part of my life every day.

Don't search for joy and then become grateful. Practice gratitude and you will become joyful.

                        (I am grateful that I can share this with you)

                                        #happiness#gratitude

Whats In Your Cup?

Disclosure:
I did not write the following paragraph, though I wish I had. It expresses, so clearly, thoughts that I have had for a long time. I would love to credit the author but have no idea who it is. This is just one of those wonderful things I came across randomly on the internet. Through all the mess of negative posts we see constantly, this positive message stands out as one I deem worth sharing, and would love for it to be shared (and practiced) repeatedly.

So what's in your cup?

If it's negativity, greed, bitterness, jealousy, animosity, rudeness...pour it down the drain and refill your cup with kindness, goodness and love.

Often we may look in our cup and it appears empty. We don't do anything to keep it full. We spend our time and effort working, striving to pay the bills and get ahead. Women are also especially guilty of putting everyone else first; in many cases about the time our kids are grown we find ourselves caring for an ill spouse or aging parents. We can't expect others to fill our cup for us. We need to find a way to keep our cup filled up with the right mixture that will nourish us and when it spills, uplift others.

How do you fill your cup with joy, gratitude, peace,  humility, kindness, gentleness and love?

-------------------Practice, Practice, Practice!------------------

Here's an example: to fill it with Kindness, practice kindness. It does not take a grand gesture. Just sit for a moment and think of something small you can do in your everyday life that would make someone smile, or make their day better in some way, then do it. 

If you want more Love in your cup, start by spending time with those you love and make sure they know how dear they are to you. Find a way on a regular basis to show them or tell them you love them. If you want more Goodness in your cup, practice goodness. Do what is right even when it is not the easiest. Treat everyone around you with dignity and respect. Be an example of what you want to see in the world. When you find some Joy in your cup, share it--the next time you take a sip there will be more there. And remember, practicing Gratitude will make your cup seem like it is always full to the point of overflowing.

I think it would be wonderful if there was a campaign where, like the Capital One slogan Jennifer Garner is known for ("What's in your wallet?"), we could talk to our friends and loved ones and ask, "What's in your cup?"
Isn't that more important anyway?

And whether your cup is half-full or half-empty,

 it is always refillable.

 #kindness everyday#share joy#gratitude#promote goodness

"Everybody's Got Something" -- Part I

Full Health Disclosure

Since the topic of this blog is Health and Happiness, and my mission is to inspire you to make choices that improve or maintain your health (and create happiness), it's time for me to come clean.

By that I mean, I have finally after much denial, come to the conclusion that rarely (if ever) can someone make it to their sixties without some ailment or disfunction in at least one joint or body part. I hate to admit that includes me. Remember, I said after much denial.

The Best New Year's Resolution I Ever Made... (Can You Guess What it Was?)

   

 So it happens every year about this time. Much thought can be given to it for weeks, or even months, but it all comes down to that magical date on the calendar. It's a time when so many of us commit or resolve to make some kind of change for the better. It is seen as a new beginning, a renewal of commitment. But doesn't that one day carry too much weight? Doesn't that allow you to feel like the rest of the year doesn't quite matter?

     With so much riding on the particular date does that set you up for failure or disappointment? Why would this absolute date mean you can be more successful than any other time? What happens then, if you don't follow through? Do you have to wait another year to commit (like all good diets start on a Monday)? How do you feel? Do you beat yourself up, feel worse than you did before because you did not have the power to change the very habit that you felt strongly committed to change? You declared it a resolution, after all. Or do you just throw your hands up in the air and decide it's no big deal, just your usual M.O. --though you really are frustrated or disappointed with yourself?