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Friday

A Gratitude Journey

Practicing Gratitude is easy and makes such a difference.

This photo was taken on a hike in Yosemite, Sept. 2018.
This was one beautiful spot (not to be taken for granted)
 that survived the massive fires in the valley that Summer.


(Warning)--This is a very personal account. It demonstrates the difference gratitude has made in my life and my hope in sharing is that it encourages you to find gratitude in your daily life.


There was a time that I was a teenager and pretty proud of it at 14. I was very typical; interested in boys, social activities, starting to experiment with my own style-- makeup and trends, concerned with appearances and wanting to be accepted. The teen years tend to be a self-centered time.

One night my father was telling me how all his hard work was to provide for the family, including me. I needed to appreciate what I had. I don't remember the exact words from so long ago, but I remember the feeling that he was telling me I was not grateful.

He died early the next morning. That was the last conversation we had. Although I don't remember the words, of course as I grew up, that night has never left my mind. It has now been well past 50 years. I won't forget.

Years later I was married and home and with two very young children. My husband, as a firefighter, was gone for work 24 hours at a time. Other times he was gone for pleasure when he felt like it. Without going into detail, there was a conversation when I was called "ungrateful". Oh I didn't know how much those words could sting! It took me back decades in my mind and I realized that is the worst thing I can be called. I did a lot of deep thinking, soul searching, and made some decisions. I reminded myself not to take things for granted. 

Again, years later there was a time; I was driving to the hospital in another city. This was so long ago as I write this, and so much has happened since, that my memory is fuzzy...
My husband was undergoing a heart procedure that was supposed to be urgent but it had been close to a month before it was scheduled. I still don't remember why he had been scheduled in Torrance instead of where we lived, his Cardiologist was, and where he had been designated a patient of a cardiac research program at Long Beach Memorial Hospital in Long Beach (where he had been treated many times). 
I remember driving to Torrance alone and nervous (besides worrying about him, I've always been directionally challenged). I became very frustrated as my car started making funny noises I was unsure about. For a moment I was angry at the world for what I felt was happening to me. I do remember taking a breath and telling myself to be grateful. I needed to be grateful that he was still alive and that I had a car to drive myself there.

Within a year after that procedure, and after other procedures that followed, my husband left me a widow.

As I was struggling to put the pieces of my life back together I realized I still had so much to be grateful for.

This is a time that GRATITUDE became most important to me. I know that being grateful for what I had was the biggest difference in my daily survival. I thought about how much worse things could have been. I was grateful that he was doing something he loved when he suffered his stroke (he was on the golf course). I was grateful that he did not linger in pain or suffer with incapacity. I was grateful that he was with friends who were also firefighter/paramedics who saw signs of a stroke and knew what to do. I was grateful that he was not driving our motorhome and caused injuries to others. I was grateful that he was not in Mexico (where he also loved to spend time) where he might not have been able to get medical attention or even get home.
                              

As difficult as it was to continue with my life as a widow I knew I had to be grateful that I had friends who knew him and loved him, and supported me. I had to be grateful that I still had my HEALTH.

I am constantly reminded of what a difference gratitude can make. I make it a part of my life every day.






Don't search for joy and then become grateful. Practice gratitude and you will become joyful.

                        (I am grateful that I can share this with you)

                                        #happiness#gratitude



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